Critique 1 from Brett Ferrin
Isaac,
Thanks for your comments!
So, I agreed with a lot of the comments made in class. The idea behind your poster has strong potential and feels very politically charged, which I feel is a good thing! I feel there's a strong message behind it, but it's a little vague as to what that message specifically is. Is it saying that by "playing god" and messing with genetic engineering we are becoming less than human....even animal like?
Along the lines of what others said I love the idea of turning the poster into a sort of conveyer belt with people cycling through. I love the creepy look of the pig (those eyes!) and I feel it is communicating a lot more than the gorilla. Is it necessary to include both a pig and a gorilla? I'd love to see the pig face in full on the female figure!
I'm not sure how I feel about the colors. They're irritating placed next to each other, which I feel is the point, but they're a bit too jarring. I feel they're distracting from the creepy pig/man transformation.
I feel that the line splitting the poster into two should either be right in the middle of the page or should be more to the side. It's almost in the middle of the page...but not quite...so it feels like a mistake.
A random thought, have you thought about turning it into a landscape design? That way you could really exaggerate the idea of a conveyor belt. Not sure how well it would work, just an idea.
Again, your poster was really the most intriguing we talked about it class. If the concept is cleared up a bit it has tons of potential.
Great job Isaac!
Written Response to Brett
I might have taken it for granted that the message is clear. It was supposed to be "Look what we're making ourselves into we're crossing the line." Basically this is our creepy future if we're not careful. The conveyor belt idea is a great and fits the idea of mass producing genetic monsters. That was one of those things where the poster told me I should do that but ended up not. I like the gorilla because it introduces some variety into the genetic production but I guess if the message. The line is placed very deliberately because it divides the headline. The italics typeface I chose was very deliberate too because the space between the e and the l runs right along the divide. I'm not crazy about the colors myself, I like red because it feels like crossing over into the danger zone. But maybe with the blue it does in fact distract from the icon. Moving it to a landscape composition would be a good idea if I'm gonna try to fit one or two more icons in to it. I can change the wording to make the message more clear.
CRITIQUE 2 From Brett Ferrin:
The poster is looking great! I love the addition of the conveyer belt! I wonder if there is something you could do to make it clear which direction the conveyer belt is moving, to ensure the viewer knows that the people are becoming pigs…and not the other way around. Maybe add some light or transparent arrows behind the figures? I’m not sure what would work, but something needs to let the audience know. (So, I just asked my family what they thought, and they thought it was obvious the people were becoming pigs, because we tend to read things from left to right. So, maybe you don’t need any additional direction indicators).
I’m still not sure about the colors! These colors are easier on the eyes, but they don’t pop like your previous version. I love the red…but maybe not such a dark gray so the red pops more? I like the version with only the pig heads. I still feel it’s a bit confusing when you start adding different animals. Also, I love the tagline “What are we becoming?” I’m not sure you need the additional line “Is it right?” and “Learn more.” The new website definitely broadens your audience - it was a smart choice!
Well, I hope any of this helps. Thanks Isaac!
Text response to Brett's comments 2
I assumed that the direction of the conveyor belt's movement was easy enough to understand beacuse the other end of the conveyor belt is visible at the right end of the poster, clearly that's not where they're coming from, right? Also the left to right reading thing was another aspect that I thought would help the reader presume how to view the poster, also the direction of the line which is being crossed is slanted to the right and could be the indicator you were looking for.
The gray color is perhaps too strong, I can try toning it back and see how I feel about it after that. I have a tenancy to be too wordy and "What are we becoming?" is probably enough. I did just notice that I forgot a question mark after that anyways.
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